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i dont feel real demo

by bikewheel.

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1.
at the bus stop its seven a.m. and my eyes are closing and i'm falling again for you like a drop of rain on its way to the pavement inevitable pain and you'll always be the kind of my world you're my cumulus girl i'm gonna hurl cuz while you're hydrogen i'm just a star i will love you no matter how far i want you to know that trees need soil less than i need you please don't go my stomach spoils when will i see you again? the keys are stars but you're galaxies away and you're feeling farther and farther every day my bodies in the the earth my heads in space and every space bar feels like another day but you'll always be the kind of my world you're my cumulus girl i'm gonna hurl cuz while you're hydrogen i'm just a stupid star i will love you near or far
2.
let's take a walk let's take a fuckin' forty walk we can chill by some rocks and we can talk about the stupid shit that's getting us down let's get high let's let the time fly by all i do lately is sit and fucking cry life is a lot lately i've got a lot on my plate i took off more than i can chew why was i dealt this card i am trying so hard to be happy with what i've got but i don't have a lot this is a formal plea for shit to stop happening to me this is a formal plea for stupid shit to stop happening my mom's in the hospital and you're too sad for words you're my best friend and i hate to see you hurt lets get a fucking handle we've got that hidden joint we'll be crunk for the moment but things will be okay i swear, i fucking swear. lets get a fucking handle we've got that hidden joint we'll be crunk for now but things will be okay and one day we'll have a lot less to worry about one day we will do whatever we want and we wont be in sacramento and one day we'll have a lot less to worry about but til then you've got me i fucking swear
3.
sweet little beep lisping and crying "why can't i be more self reliant?" can't you see how hard ive been working to make you like me? i guess it's not working but sweet prison guard why don't you like me? i see you trying hard just to guide me but i'm in the corner i'm screaming i'm trapped seventeen years, i'm so sorry so sorry three out of four times i'll mess up i'm closing my door and tearing up why can't i be more of the son or daughter you had wished for can't even pick one how am i always wrong when you say i'm so smart? how am i so strong always falling apart? should i put an end to this terrible start? too scared to stay, too scared to part if i could take myself back you know i would return me for your cash back this one is broken get one that dressed right and showered when it should never shed blood or shed tears or whatever but sweet prison guard why don't you like me? i see you trying hard just to guide me but i'm in the corner i'm screaming i'm trapped seventeen years, i'm so sorry so sorry
4.
i remember sitting on the steps of that church and theres a quote by ralph waldo emerson and it says what lies behind us and what lies before us don't compare to what lies within us (or something like that) and i believe that what lies within me would rather be lying with you i honestly believe that what lies within me would rather be lying with you in the closet both figuratively and actually in a closet we hid together and alone we shared thoughts and secrets that weren't actually secrets and maybe it made me feel a little less alone and i believe that what lies within me would rather be lying with you oh, i honestly believe that what lies within me feels a little less alone when i'm with you and the shoes you wear your clothes, your hair i want you to know you're so damn beautiful i could listen to you play your guitar all day or sit around and talk about stu-uff and i believe whats alone within me is never alone when i'm with you i honestly believe that whats alone within me would rather be alone with you what's alone within me would rather be just us two what's alone within me would rather be alone with you
5.
i was born in the middle of the sea way out where no one could see me i swam so far you wouldn't believe and maybe its all the saline but i woke up on the bright shore i told you i was the victim of a murder you stared at me from your doorway i guess that we dont talk about it fifty scars, fifty bright read lines on the table in front of me, fifty stars in the sky i look up, i see a vast blank high and i look down, i feel your ghost between my thighs i hear myself echo behind my eyes my shoulders freeze, i hear my cries the crash like waves on the rocks they're bubbling and loud but i dont want to talk about it as though i could fight away the monsters that night don't tell me like i don't already know i should've been stronger, i can't let it go water-logged from the start, salt for a heart the current took me under, tore me apart my flesh became one with my genesis returning to the place of my salty origin as though i could fight away the sea that dreadful night don't tell me like i don't already know i should've been stronger i cant let it go i was born in the middle of the sea way out where no one could see me i swam so hard you wouldn't believe why did no one believe me?
6.
i'm not going to school today i don't feel up to it too tired to comb my hair i'm too tired to deoderize my pits i'll stay in bed instead forming a cucoon sweet and tender too and i won't have to see you and i don't really care if i get a bad grade in econ or government no, i don't really care about any of that there is no need for a class in day dreaming i've already got a degree in trying to be me i'll dye my hair green give everyone mean looks more smut than real books i will never learn to cook and i don't really care if i get a bad grade in econ or government no, i don't really care about any of that when i dissolve into the ground none of you will be around nor will my thousands of f's i'll still have weird hair still have a mean look read tons of smut and i'll never learn to cook and i only care about my friends and family and i don't really care if i get a bad grade in econ or government no, i don't really care about any of that

about

this is a collection of songs i recorded using various devices ranging from my phone to a usb chat microphone. none of the track are high quality and most of them are first recordings. these songs represent my journey through my last year of high school as they were all written and recorded during that time. i plan on re-recording all of these tracks and releasing a separate collection that will be available in physical copies but here they are for now, in the rawest form.

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released June 27, 2014

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bikewheel. Sacramento, California

bikewheel. is a musical project by Miles Morrissey with folk punk roots meant to document life and emotion through music.

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